-- This post appeared in conjunction with the joke issue on April 10, 2008 --
Just days after Brown basketball coach Craig Robinson left for Pac 10 bottom-dweller Oregon State, according to a source within the Penn basketball program, the Bears have an offer on the table to Penn coach Glen Miller, and there's a good chance he's going back to Providence.
Robinson, who posted an 11-3 Ivy League record and earned a berth into the College Basketball Invitational, left after only two years at Brown.
Miller struggled to a 8-6 league mark, breaking the streak of three-straight conference titles for Penn.
The Bears want to get their head coach locked up for next season, and don't want to let a disgruntled Miller stay at Penn a minute longer than he has to.
Miller declined to comment when called on his cell phone, but the source (who would only go by the first name of "Vasu") said the coach was stressed out, and fed up with "a number of things, the lack of [expletive] athletes, the egos on the team, losing to cow colleges like Columbia, Joe Gill, the crappy facilities and a junior varsity program that was able to beat the varsity team in a scrimmage, and let Miller know about it for weeks after."
Apparently coming to Penn thinking he would receive the calls that Penn and Princeton typically get, Miller still got jammed up his ass by several officials on occasion this season.
Miller also has been disappointed with the city of Philadelphia, calling it, in a December 2006 interview, "filthy, dangerous and with an inadequate subway system that is inefficient, expensive and that's lack of funding is the only thing worse than the manner in which it is run." Miller also agreed with women's coach Pat Knapp's assessment that "The D.C. Metro is like a Formula 1 racing car, and SEPTA is like a bicycle."
If Miller does decide to leave, Penn will have a long, tough search process ahead of it. It has been reported that the list of possible successors to Miller should include: Perry Bromwell, Chris "Bubba" Sparxxx, LaShawn "Obie" Trice, Friedrich Ebede, Stephen "I'm better at sports and smarter than you" Danley, Isiah Thomas, The 'stache, The Hawk (which will never die), Tim Legler's hot Eagles cheerleader wife and Mike Jarvis.
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April 9th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Have the Quakes considered talking to Bob Knight? They wouldn't have to worry about his misbehavior - there are no chairs on the bench for him to throw across the court.
April 10th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
This is a ridiculous article. Don't bash a coach by quoting an anonymous person.
I would not blame him if he leaves.
Although this article is mostly about Miller, since you did not feel it was necessary to investigate the "crappy facilities" as Miller commented, I hope this comment will spark some investigation of Penn's facilities.
All Penn athlete's know that the sports facilities here probably rank as the Top 5 worst in all of Div 1 colleges. On a scale from 1-10, their facilities are no higher than a two.
It is not an exaggeration to say that most high school weight rooms are superior to Penn's.
A really good article would be to investigate the weight room's for Penn's athletes.
The best word to describe the weight room's is "archaic".
Below are just a few examples of the inadequacies of Penn's facilities.
--The equipment in Weiss' and Hollenbeck's weight rooms are older than probably every athlete using them.
--The space - there is barely enough space for one team to workout in the weight room at a time.
--Personally, I would be embarassed to show any recruit the weight room. This is an immediate turn off, which will only lead to the conclusion that the athletic program is underfuned.
--Because space is so limited, the only real option is to use free weights. While most athletes prefer free weights, the other equipment (non-free weights) is terrible. While there is maybe few new pieces of equipment, I would love to know how old most of it is.
--Weiss weight room is squeezed beneath the stands. On the second floor, you have to duck in some parts!
--Barely enough mirrors, which are essential since using proper form leads to injuries.
--There is only 2 full time and one part time trainers for 33 athletic teams!!!!!!!!!! I don't feel like doing the math, but I would not be suprised the ratio of athletes to about Ivy league rules, off-season workouts only allow 12 practices/workouts with a coach. So they can't even spend time in the off-season to help condition the athletes. As a result, athletes must rely on a staff of 2 1/2 people to work with around 400 plus athletes.
--I was going to mention Hollenbeck's weightroom, which is all the way down by South street bridge, but I figured there's no point since most athletes don't even know it exists. One comment is that there is NO TRAINING STAFF STATIONED THERE.
Alright im done.
Mr. Wheeling, If you are going to quote Miller commenting on Penn's facilities, as a reporter don't you think you should follow it up and see if there is any validity to the "crappy facilities" at Penn?trainers is probably around 150:1.
--If you know anything
April 10th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
This was a joke post that went along with the joke issue. I apologize, I should have deleted it earlier instead of leaving it up this morning as well.
April 10th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Well it was a good joke.
The real joke is Penn's facilities.