Quakers and Shakers

Amber’s (very drunk) new best friend: “I just don’t know what to do, he’s so sexy and I’ve told him I’m not the kind of girl who wants a relationship, that I’m only looking for casual sex, but I don’t know if he even wants to fuck me.  But I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You can’t advise me; you don’t even know who I’m talking about.”

Amber’s (very drunk) new best friend stumbles into wall.  Amber (maybe a tish intoxicated) and Amber’s (very drunk) new best friend hang out by the wall.

Amber (maybe a tish intoxicated): “Actually, I do know who you’re talking about. He’s got some nice facial hair, but…”

Amber’s (very drunk) new best friend: “Ohmygod I know! I want to pet it and rub my face against it!”

Amber (maybe a tish intoxicated): “Carpet burn? As for your other point, I’m a loudmouth and a sex/relationship blogger for the DP, so I  practically have a PhD in dishing poorly substantiated advice about sex/love/dating. Be careful, I say unto thee! Almost every time I’ve tried to act ‘liberated’ and had a ‘no strings attached hookup’ with someone, it’s because I secretly want them to realize that I’m the lady they want to date. My friends try this a lot too. It never works, and it’s a bitch to deal with afterwards.”

Amber’s (very drunk) new best friend: “Yea, I guess you’re right, but I would make such a good girlfriend for him!  Don’t you think we’d be the cutest?”

Amber (maybe a tish intoxicated) repeatedly bangs head against wall

Relationships, Sexxx brain damage due to banging head into brick wall, carpet burn, new friendships, yuengling