Blame it on the Qua-a-a-a-a-a-a-kers.
Morgan Roper
Your perfect Quaker could be out there!
Every year, as classes come to a close, I think “Oh crap. Another year at Penn, and I have yet to find a future hubby. 50% of couples meet in college! Where the eff is the Jay-Z to my Beyonce?!”
I’ve had the same ranty, bitter, circular conversations with countless Penn females, discussing the dearth of great guys.
Someone shares a tale of their latest encounter with Penn male douchebaggery and we, Penn girls, are off: “Penn guys are such self-obsessed whores. They think they’re God’s gift to the world. And they aren’t even cute.” One of my friends summed up. “Penn guys are specimens of below-average looks and above-average arrogance.”
After three years at Penn, a few months of writing this blog and a couple honest conversations with my guy friends, I’ve come to a shocking realization: Penn boys and girls HATE each other, mutually.
As Penn boys sit in their rooms playing Mario Kart, they too regale each other with stories of Penn female douchebaggery and rant about Penn female wackness. Admit it. All of us Penn Quakers, the future leaders of America, are pretty arrogant, even when we have below average looks. We go to an Ivy League school. We run clubs and sports teams, do community service, go out 4 nights a week and still get A’s (sometimes). We are BALLER. Because of this, we understand that we deserve to be with perfect partners that combine looks, smarts, talent and fun. When we can’t find these qualities in the Penn dating pool, we blame our would-be partners because there can’t possibly be anything wrong with us! See, above-average arrogance!
All Penn girls aren’t “lame as hell,” as my friend Chester once told me. All Penn boys aren’t lying, cheating scumbags. We extrapolate data from our failed Penn relationships onto the rest of our fellow Quakers. Let’s not. We are the ISH, so let’s start acting like it. Let’s not be douchebags to each other. Let’s not sleep with our boyfriend’s roommates. Let’s not give each other STDs. It makes us all look bad! He/she could out there, harboring an unhealthy love for Ben Franklin and a closet full of red and blue, but we’ll never know if we’ve already given up on Penn relationships. Join me in this pledge: I will not be a bitter Betty/Bobby, I will give my fellow Quaker a chance.
Only one year into the Penn “dating” scene, I can say that I don’t believe that Penn guys and girls hate each other. Even if there is an on-going dispute and …disappointment towards the opposite sex representatives. But, overall, I believe that they DESERVE each other. Most Penn girls complain that the guys here are man whores and scumbags… well, they give them all the reasons to be like that. Penn guys have a huge range of drunken’willing to hook up no string attached available for them. Why would they look for more? At least freshman and sophomore year, this is their life. And the girls… just don’t believe in themselves enough to ask for more. above-average arrogance and, paradoxically, far-below-average self esteem.