Green Porno.
Morgan Roper
Today, I came across some of the most disturbing, yet intriguing footage I’ve seen in a very long time. “Green Porno,” the brainchild of Isabella Rossellini, Italian actress, filmmaker, philanthropist and model, allows her to dress up as different types of marine creatures and discuss their mating and reproductive rituals. That, in and of itself, is wacked, but the fact that Isabella Rosellini looks, acts and speaks like an extra-terrestrial, even when she’s not dressed as a starfish or right whale (with a 6-foot erection), makes it all the more frightening.
Each of the very short film clips, which you can find on SundanceChannel.com, starts with the words, “If I were a (insert the name of a marine animal here)” and Rossellini goes on to explain—as if she were the animal, because that’s normal—the reproductive habits of that specific species. Rosellini doesn’t just dress up like the creatures she’s discussing. That would be far too conventional. She re-enacts these animals’ sexual encounters on her under-the-sea-themed set, while sporadically gazing into the camera in that freakishly calm “I will kill you in your sleep” kind of way. Rossellini directs and produces all of the critically-acclaimed performance-piece-style clips and allows viewers to take a peek between the proverbial sheets of angler fish, barnacles, limpits, whales and starfish.
I personally don’t really care how limpits mate. To be honest, I didn’t even know what a limpit was until I watched Isabella Rossellini dress up as one. Wearing red lipstick. However, I must admit, underwater critters get down in some pretty fascinating ways. Though Isabella Rossellini’s creeper voice may come to narrate your nightmares, “Green Porno” will definitely teach you something.
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