cost/benefit analysis
Amber Weekes
At 14, I was moved to enter into a “relationship” with an unattractive, socially awkward geek in my “Modern World Literature” course almost exclusively because he repeatedly complimented me on my humorous and insightful analysis of Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart.
At that point in my life, there was little I wanted more than general recognition of what a wunderkind I was; I was happy to trade in my singleness for frequent reassurances of my genius. Since then, I’ve watched friends exchange their bodies and hearts for sexual pleasure, social advancement, flowers on important holidays, an apartment in the Princeton University graduate housing complex, assurance of their physical attractiveness and help getting over a particularly painful breakup.
Obviously, no one is going to engage in behavior/a relationship that they don’t think is going to benefit them in some way. When love and dating are so explicitly tied to material/social interactions can we really say that we “upstanding romantics” are really all that different from streetwalkers?
While it may seem distasteful to frame love, romance, and all of the special feelings that often accompany them using the language of the market, I think doing so helps one make wise decisions about one’s dealings with the opposite sex. While we respectable women agonize over whether it’s a good idea to get involved with Ben Adam or whether or not we should accept DeAndre’s dinner invite, the prostitute has no difficulty accepting offers from Johns who will meet her price and rejecting bids from cheapskates who won’t. You might not choose to bill by the hour, but that doesn’t mean that your time and emotional energy aren’t incredibly valuable resources. Identifying exactly what the “price” of your affections, time and emotional energy is makes it much easier to discern what romantic investments will be mutually beneficial and rewarding.
If you’ve recognized that you want emotional stability from a relationship, it becomes easier to avoid a painful romantic entente with a manic-depressive. Similarly, if you’re looking to exchange scraps of time and tidbits of emotional energy for satisfying sex, you probably shouldn’t be doing business with Mr. Attachment Issues or Mr. Erectile Dysfunction.
Know your price and don’t barter: in this economic climate, there’s no room for haggling.
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